Proverbs 31:5 A Noble Character

Noble lion

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:5 

It is very common for girls, who once have graduated high school and maybe college, they desire to get married. They search for some man who will love them and want them.

In order to be ready for that, many will take care of their physical appearances. They will put on the best makeup, wear the best jewelry and stay in good shape. However, their character does not improve.

Often their character stays all about self and making self look good, rather than building others up. Finding one that is about helping and building others up is a rare find.

Solomon describes a wife of noble character as being of worth more than rubies.

Noble character is something that is difficult to find in many people, both men and women. This is a character that is serving, loving, and hard working. It is one about building others up, rather than focusing on self.

While Solomon is specifically talking about a wife being of a noble character, men can take this advice also. This describes the person who is a follower of Jesus. Jesus used wisdom, worked hard, provided food, helped the poor and needy, opened His arms to everyone, showed no fear, and clothes His followers.

Every believer needs to be a person of noble character as Jesus is. The noble character is a description of love for others. God is love and believers are to be like God–love. This goes against the grain of the world, which is all about self, not love.

In marriage and in life, if everyone is showing God’s love, being a person of noble character, there will be less fights and arguments. Hurting others will drop and more lives will be changed for God.

Take a moment to determine what type of character you are. Do you portray a character that is like that of the world—selfish? Or do you represent the noble  character of Jesus—loving others?

Allow God to work on your character to make you more like Jesus. Learn to love others and put them first over yourself and second only to God. Work hard and be generous to others. Be willing to share the gospel message to all you meet. Be quick to forgive and extend mercy. Be gracious and thankful.

What type of character are you being today?

I pray today that you will allow God to change your character to that of Jesus; that you will love others as God loves you and them; that you will build others up in Christ Jesus; and that God will fill you with His grace and mercy towards others. 

Marriage: The Wife’s Role

Brides back

Thank you for continuing this look at marriage from a biblical perspective. In the past few articles we looked at what marriage is and is not, and we looked at the husband’s role in a marriage. Now I will look at the wife’s role.

In the beginning God had created the heavens and the earth. Once He had made all of the land, plants, and animals, God created man. Everything was perfect, except for one thing–man was alone. God said “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him.” ( Genesis 2:18)

After Adam had named all of the animals, God noticed that there was no suitable helper for him. So:

So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of a man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:21-24

Bride groom on bridge

The woman was taken from man and was made his wife. She is a part of the man and he is a part of her. Once together as husband and wife, they are back together as one.

This here shows the beginning of what was later termed as ‘marriage’. At this point there is no regulation as to what a wife is to do other than be a helpmate for her husband, however, that is a large job in itself.

A helpmate is one who stands beside and helps out in any way that one can help.

Couple holding hands

When Jesus left the earth, He knew it was not good for man to be left alone, so He sent His Holy Spirit. His Holy Spirit was to come and be the helper for all men and women. He would help them become more like Jesus. He would help them have the strength to do what needed to be done. He would give them guidance as to how to accomplish God’s mission for them. He would provide the needed comfort. He was the ultimate Helper for every person. 

Not being the Ultimate Helper, the wife is a helper for the husband. She is to help her husband out to be the best that he can be. She is to help her husband out to do the job God has called him to do.

The exact help provided will change from time to time and with different circumstances. Sometimes she will help by being an encourager, other times it will be to rebuke. Other times it may be to provide direction or instruction, while other times to be comfort. All of this is done out of love.

Blocks spell love

When there is love for someone, you will want to help that person be the best he can be for God. This is not be the best he can be for the world, but for God. It is not about self, it is not about him or her, but about God.

Several thousand years later Paul wrote to the husbands and wives. To the wives he said:

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands. (Ephesians 5:22-24 )

Many women hate this verse or try to ignore it. Many others will try to excuse this verse away. However, it does not get rid of this verse.

Every person, man or woman, is supposed to be sold out, 100% to Jesus. They are to submit to Him in every area of their lives. He is to have the ultimate say in their lives, because He is the head.

One hundred percent

But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. (Romans 6:22 )

The term ‘slave’ is a politically incorrect term to use according to people today. Yet, this is what God calls it. As a believer, you have chosen to become a slave to God. This means that you have to submit to Him in every thing, in every area of your life. God has the ultimate say in everything.

This submission, however, is done out of love, not force. This is where the slavery of this world and slavery to God is different. You must bind yourself to God out of love.

Security lock love

As a wife, you are to submit to your husband in the same way. The only way a husband does not get the ultimate say is if it goes against God’s word. Then and only then, does a wife have a way to refuse to submit to him. This should be the exception, not the norm.

Love is the motivator in all of this submission. You are to love your husband and then you will be able to submit to him, follow him, and support him. This is being the helpmeet that he needs.

When you try to do your own thing and go your own way, you are creating division and are not one. This will not allow him to follow God’s commands to be one with his wife.

There will be times when this will be easy to do and there will be times when this is extremely difficult to do. It is no different then your walk with God–easy some times, difficult other times. Don’t give up or give in, but trust in God’s strength and leading. Remember His love for you and pass that on to your husband.

Focus lens

As you focus your life on God and trust Him with your marriage and your life, He will give you the strength to submit to your husband. He will guide you in how to be the best for your husband. Together then, both of you can grow together in the Lord.

Next week I will look at the controversial topic of divorce and what the bible says about it.

Please feel free to share this with any one you know who may be able to use this. Thank you for reading and see you next week.

1 Corinthians 7:4 Not Your Own

 

husband and wife

The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:4

Marriage is something that God had started in the beginning of creation. However, it is something that mankind has chosen to abuse. The definition of what marriage is has changed over the years again and again. How people go into marriage is dependent upon how they see what marriage is.

In recent years, there has been a change when a couple gets married in their marriage contracts. They now put in certain stipulations that if certain things are not met, the marriage is annulled.

Each spouse now has the view that they are their own person in every way, even inside of marriage. Each has their own bank accounts, cars, jobs, friends, bills, and the list goes on. They are living in the same house, but are living separate lives.

Paul talks about how the wife is to submit herself to her husband and the husband is to submit himself to his wife. It is to submit to each other.

Submitting here is giving in to the desires of the other person, putting the other person first. It is building the other one up and seeking to meet the other’s needs first. When both are seeking to do this, both will be built up and there will be unity.

Many marriages end because one or the other, or both, are seeking one’s own desires above the other. This is not a sign of love or respect, it is selfishness and separation.

God is not a God of selfishness and separation. He wants all to be in unity and love, to be generous with each other.

If you are a married person, you are no longer your own person. You are one with your spouse. Seek to build your spouse up and meet his/her desires. Show the love that God has shown and given you. Jesus did not seek His own good when He died upon the cross, but He was seeking your good, what was good for you. Do the same for your spouse.

As you put God at the center of your marriage, you will put your spouse at the front of your marriage. Then your marriage will be stronger.

I pray today that you will know the love God has for others; that God will be at the center of your marriage; that you will put your spouse above your self; and that your marriage will be built upon God’s love and word.

Proverbs 31:10-27 The Right Wife

The passage that I have chosen today is too long to want to copy all of it here. Please click on the link Proverbs 31:10-27 and read the passage.

There are many views on who the right wife is for a man. Each person, man, woman, mother, or father, has a different view. In this passage a description is given that is often ignored.

The wife described here is not one who is a door-mat, that just gets walked all over by her husband or her children. Nor is she one described as the boss of the household.

Often wives have a career and are focused on moving on up in that career. They are focused on how to look better in this world. It may be to look better in this world for her husband or children, but the focus is still on her. The wife described here is focused on making life better for her husband and her children.

She is willing to work with her own hands to provide the best for her family, not for herself. Many marriages are built around the concept of his and her own stuff. Each one has their own checking account, own vehicles, own food, own life and are not together. Everything done is for self, rather than for the family.

This is not about women’s liberation, but about love for family. When a woman puts her family first and meets their needs first, she will be blessed in the end. Her family will see all the hard work she does and bless her. Her husband can trust her to make all the right choices in this life and for the family.

If you are a wife and are reading this today, what is your focus in your family? The first level of focus must be on God, the second is on your husband, and third is on your children. The last area of focus is to be on yourself.

God will provide for your needs as you pour out yourself into the needs of your family.

The method of meeting your family needs will be different for each wife. Seek God to know how you can best do that and be the wife that is blessed.

I pray today that God will give you the strength to work for your family; that God will guide you in what to do for your family; and that your family will see a treasure in you.