Thank you for continuing this look at marriage from a biblical perspective. In the past few articles we looked at what marriage is and is not, and we looked at the husband’s role in a marriage. Now I will look at the wife’s role.
In the beginning God had created the heavens and the earth. Once He had made all of the land, plants, and animals, God created man. Everything was perfect, except for one thing–man was alone. God said “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him.” ( Genesis 2:18)
After Adam had named all of the animals, God noticed that there was no suitable helper for him. So:
So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of a man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:21-24
The woman was taken from man and was made his wife. She is a part of the man and he is a part of her. Once together as husband and wife, they are back together as one.
This here shows the beginning of what was later termed as ‘marriage’. At this point there is no regulation as to what a wife is to do other than be a helpmate for her husband, however, that is a large job in itself.
A helpmate is one who stands beside and helps out in any way that one can help.
When Jesus left the earth, He knew it was not good for man to be left alone, so He sent His Holy Spirit. His Holy Spirit was to come and be the helper for all men and women. He would help them become more like Jesus. He would help them have the strength to do what needed to be done. He would give them guidance as to how to accomplish God’s mission for them. He would provide the needed comfort. He was the ultimate Helper for every person.
Not being the Ultimate Helper, the wife is a helper for the husband. She is to help her husband out to be the best that he can be. She is to help her husband out to do the job God has called him to do.
The exact help provided will change from time to time and with different circumstances. Sometimes she will help by being an encourager, other times it will be to rebuke. Other times it may be to provide direction or instruction, while other times to be comfort. All of this is done out of love.
When there is love for someone, you will want to help that person be the best he can be for God. This is not be the best he can be for the world, but for God. It is not about self, it is not about him or her, but about God.
Several thousand years later Paul wrote to the husbands and wives. To the wives he said:
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands. (Ephesians 5:22-24 )
Many women hate this verse or try to ignore it. Many others will try to excuse this verse away. However, it does not get rid of this verse.
Every person, man or woman, is supposed to be sold out, 100% to Jesus. They are to submit to Him in every area of their lives. He is to have the ultimate say in their lives, because He is the head.
But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. (Romans 6:22 )
The term ‘slave’ is a politically incorrect term to use according to people today. Yet, this is what God calls it. As a believer, you have chosen to become a slave to God. This means that you have to submit to Him in every thing, in every area of your life. God has the ultimate say in everything.
This submission, however, is done out of love, not force. This is where the slavery of this world and slavery to God is different. You must bind yourself to God out of love.
As a wife, you are to submit to your husband in the same way. The only way a husband does not get the ultimate say is if it goes against God’s word. Then and only then, does a wife have a way to refuse to submit to him. This should be the exception, not the norm.
Love is the motivator in all of this submission. You are to love your husband and then you will be able to submit to him, follow him, and support him. This is being the helpmeet that he needs.
When you try to do your own thing and go your own way, you are creating division and are not one. This will not allow him to follow God’s commands to be one with his wife.
There will be times when this will be easy to do and there will be times when this is extremely difficult to do. It is no different then your walk with God–easy some times, difficult other times. Don’t give up or give in, but trust in God’s strength and leading. Remember His love for you and pass that on to your husband.
As you focus your life on God and trust Him with your marriage and your life, He will give you the strength to submit to your husband. He will guide you in how to be the best for your husband. Together then, both of you can grow together in the Lord.
Next week I will look at the controversial topic of divorce and what the bible says about it.
Please feel free to share this with any one you know who may be able to use this. Thank you for reading and see you next week.