Marriage: The Husband’s Role

Husband wife kiss

With having established what a marriage is and what it is not, I will begin to look at the people in the marriage. The first will be the husband. I have chosen to look at the role of the husband first because it is he that the bible begins talking about first in Genesis.

After making Adam, God knew that he needed a helpmate–a wife–to help him out. God then created Eve. Immediately after giving Adam Eve God said: “For this reason a man will his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh”. (Genesis 2:24). Jesus repeats these same words thousands of years later when talking to some Pharisees about marriage and divorce (Matthew 19:5). Paul later also repeats these words in Ephesians 5:31. Being repeated several times shows that these words are important and must be heeded.

Genesis 2-24

Notice in this verse that the man and woman will become ‘one  flesh‘. This shows that in a marriage there is no longer ‘me’ and ‘you’ or ‘him’ and ‘her’. The two are together. It is not all about him, nor is it all about her. There is no selfishness allowed in a marriage.

Often men feel as that because they are to be the head of the household, they are the boss and it is all about them and their desires. They rule the wife and the household like a dictator demanding everything their way. This cannot be further from the truth of what marriage is supposed to be like.

Although God is in absolute control, He is not a God who is an extreme dictator, ruling with an iron fist. He is a God who is loving and compassionate, looking out for the best for each one He is over. Marriage is working together as one, helping each other out.

Now I shall look at just how a husband is to love his wife and treat her.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. Ephesians 5:25-27

Paul tells the husbands to love their wives. He pushes that issue strongly and gives an example of how they are supposed to love their wives–just as Jesus loved the church.

So, how did Jesus love the church? With a perfect, self-sacrificing, undying love. Think about this for a moment. How much did Jesus love the church or people? It was while people hated Him, while they did not want anything to do with Him, while they were beating Him and pounding nails into His hands and feet that He loved them. Jesus gave Himself up for the church. He did not have to do this, but chose to do it because of His great love for the church.

Crown and nails

There is absolutely nothing that you have done that should make God love you at all. In fact, with everything you have done, you deserve God’s most extreme wrath of punishment. Yet, God loved you, Jesus loved you enough to pay the price for your sins and set you free from condemnation and judgement. This is extreme love.

Husbands you are to love your wives in this very same way.

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church. Ephesians 5:28-29 

What does it mean then to love the wife? It is to feed and care for her. This is doing the same that every man does for himself, he feeds and takes care of himself. It is to work at meeting her needs, no matter what those needs are.

God feeds and cares for you. He provides physical food for you to eat to nourish your physical body. He also provides spiritual food to provide for your spirit and make it alive.

In the beginning God created the earth and all that is in it to provide for the physical needs of mankind. Later, Jesus died upon the cross to provide for the spiritual needs of man. God went all the way to help mankind out in every way needed and possible. There was no limit to His provision or love, both are endless, eternal.

Fresh organic vegetables in the garden

Men, instead of putting yourself and selfish desires first, put your wife first. The only one that should be before your wife in your life is God. God first, then your wife. When you put God first, putting your wife next will be easy. When you take your eyes off of God, you become selfish and putting your wife next will be nearly impossible and you will fail.

Every day you must ask yourself how you can help your wife be the best that she can be for God and others in this world. Ask yourself how you can meet her needs first, before working to meet your own needs.

The best way to do this is to seek God’s direction. God will show you how to help your wife. Then trust God to meet your needs as you trust Him to help you meet her needs. This is real love. Remember that God is all about love. God is love (1 John 4:8It is because of love that God created this world. It is because of love that Jesus died upon the cross. It is because of love that Jesus forgives us of our sins.

Hands as heart

Your marriage must be about love, not just sexual love, but true love. Love that puts the other person first. Love that is self-sacrificing. Love that is forgiving. Love that is patient. Love that is not easily angered. Love that does not remember wrongs done. Love that does not dishonor. Love that is not proud or boasting. Love that is not easily angered. Love that always protects. Love that always trusts. Love that always hopes. Love that always perseveres. Love that never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8

This type of love is not easy, but it is what is best. There will be tough times. Your wife will hurt you at times. There will be challenges and disagreements. Jesus loves you even though you hurt Him at times. Every time you sin, you hurt Jesus, yet, He still loves you.

Yet, love will persevere and strive to keep going. Love will triumph in the end.

Arc De Triomphe

Men, love your wife. Love her as Christ loves you. As you love her and put her above yourself, you will have a much better marriage. You will also have a marriage that God wanted you to have.

Thank you for staying with me as I continue to look at marriage. Next week I will look at the wife’s role in a marriage.

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Psalm 71:14 Praise With Hope

Sunrise in space

As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. Psalm 71:14 

Looking at the events going on in the world, many people do not have much hope for this world. Natural disasters are occurring at catastrophic levels in new places all over the world. Violent crimes are rising in many cities around the world. Poverty and homelessness is on a rise. Cost of living is rising faster than paychecks. Wars and threats of war are seen everywhere.

These things are on the grand scale of life. Then there are the things in a person’s life. Sickness, injury, marital failings, children failing, drugs, alcohol, and more destroying lives and removing hope.

The list of what is going wrong in this world always seems to be increasing, leaving very little room for hope. It looks like doomsday is approaching quickly for most people.

The author of this psalm states that he will always have hope and thus will praise God more and more.

Hope is the expectation of something better that is unseen. At this point, one cannot see an end to many of the problems in this world. People are constantly at war as to how to deal with many of the problems in this world.

If all one does is look at this world and man alone, then there is no hope. There is no way for mankind to make things better. He will fail.

However, God has not left man alone. He is there to provide the needed help. As the author of this psalm wrote, Jesus had not yet died on the cross, yet, he had hope in God to provide the needed salvation.

God will win the battle in the end. Sin and death will be defeated and wiped out when Jesus returns. This is a hope that every believer has.

Knowing this can cause a believer to praise God even more each day.

Take your eyes off of the problems that are going on in this world. Focus on what God has already done for you and will do for you in the future. He will always be there for you and will continue to do more and more each day.

God has promised to save you and give you eternal life. Hold onto that hope and give Him praise for it.

Let the world know the hope that they can have. Let the world see the hope that you have as you praise God despite the circumstances of this world.

I pray today that you will know the hope you have in Jesus; that you will know how God has helped you already; that you will know the salvation that is yours; and that you will praise God more and more each day.

 

Psalm 49:16-17 Wealth Is Temporary

Governors mansion

Do not be overawed when others grow rich, when the splendor of their houses increases; for they will take nothing with them when they die, their splendor will not descend with them. Psalm 49:16-17 

People are often amazed and in awe when they drive by a huge mansion of a home. They often see those large homes and dream of a day that they may own one of them, or get discouraged because they know with their meager income they will never own one.

There have be television shows that walk a person through various mansions of some of the rich and famous. It is the only way most people will ever get to see the inside of a home that large. Extensive homes with their own theater, eight car garage, basketball court, tennis courts and much more are dreamed of by many people.

The sons of Korah tells the people not to overawed, or overwhelmed when they see the rich and their home increasing. The reason one should not be overwhelmed with riches, is that one cannot take it with them when they die.

One thing that remains the same for every person, regardless of how wealthy, famous or poor and unknown they are, is that nothing that they own will follow them when they die.

Wealth can be accumulated upon this earth to great extents, but it is only temporary. It lasts only while living on this earth, and then, maybe, not even till death. Many who have had great wealth have lost it within moments due to a crash in the economy or some other disaster.

The only thing that follows a person into eternity is his soul, not even his body follows him. Physical things will break down and fade away with time. Things owned will be sold off or given to another person. It does not long term eternal good for a person.

Hold the things you have loosely. Do not be jealous of what someone else has, nor stand in amazement at what they have physically.

Look at what a person has spiritually. The one thing that counts for all eternity is a relationship with Jesus. Having the forgiveness of sins and salvation that Jesus provides is all that really counts.

In your own life, seek to build your relationship with God and to build His kingdom on this earth. Bring as many into His kingdom as you can. That is what lasts for eternity and is worth having. The rest is only temporary.

I pray today that you will have a relationship with God; that you will know the salvation Jesus gives; that you will know what lasts for eternity; and that you will have contentment in what Jesus gives.

Psalm 39:4 Life Is Short

Warped clock face

Show me, Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is. Psalm 39:4 

One thing that people are looking for is a longer life. They want to live longer and longer all the time. Many movies have been made about the holy grail of living forever and never dying.

As a child and up through the early twenties, a person thinks that he will live forever or that he has a long time to live yet. He is young and there is a whole life before him to be lived. In thinking this, he will eat, drink and be merry.

Later, as he grows up, the reality of how short life is begins to hit him. Suddenly he is in his forties, then sixties and then death is knocking on the door. This does not even take into account sickness or disease that brings death faster. As he gets old, time appears to move faster and faster.

David asked God to reveal to him how short his life really is. He wanted a real vision of what his life consists of in light of eternity.

Knowing how long one has to live before dying can bring a reality to his life. It can show him how long he has to accomplish things before he can no longer do anything. For the believer this does two things.

One, it shows him how short the struggles of this life really is in light of eternity. Despite all the struggles in this life, they will be over soon. Very soon one will step into eternity.

Second, it shows him how short of time he has to tell others about Jesus. If his life is short, so is everyone else’s and they need to know the saving message. With life being short, this is very important. He only has a short time to do what God has called him to do.

You may be at an age where you have already realized how short life is, or you may not be there yet. Ask God to reveal it to you. Then seek to know what God wants you to do with the short time you have on this earth.

How are you living your life serving God? Or are you serving yourself?

You only have a few years on this earth to make a difference for Jesus in the lives of other people. Now get out there and live for God and make a difference for eternity.

I pray today that God will show you your days; that God will reveal His plan for you; that you will seek to tell all about Jesus; and that you will live your life in service to God. 

Esther 7:10 Lies Will Cost

Prison fence

So they impaled Haman on the pole he had set up for Mordecai. Then the king’s fury subsided. Esther 7:10 

Telling lies often will appear to be acceptable, with no cost. People are telling lies on a regular basis and do not seem to have any problems. False reports about people are being spread on a daily basis, to the point, it is difficult to know what is the truth.

Watching the news, one will see many reports of what someone supposedly said or did. There will be reports on both sides of the story, saying the person did it or did not do it.

Haman had spread a false report to the king that the Israelites were out to destroy him and his nation. The king had believed him for a time, and allowed for the destruction of the Israelites.

This plot was discovered and uncovered. This destruction would also destroy the king’s wife–Esther. So the king was against Haman. His lies were uncovered and it cost him his life.

Being deceptive is an easy thing to do and most people will not be able to recognize it. Yet, God is watching and sees all deception and lies being told. He may allow it to happen, but there will be a price to be paid in the end.

There will always come a time when a lie is uncovered for what it was. This may occur in this life, or it may occur when standing before the judgement seat of God in heaven. Telling a lie is a sin and the cost of it is death.

Although one may have lied, Jesus has paid the price for that lie. He paid the price of death for the sin and is willing to forgive when repentance occurs. However, if there is no repentance, the individual will have to pay the price of death.

Lies and any other sin comes with the price of death. The world may not see it, but God does.

You may have done a sin against God at some point. It may appear as though no one has seen it. Know that God has seen it and there will be a price to be paid, whether it is a lie or some other sin. Repent of the sin, while there is still time before the final judgement occurs.

Do not try to pay the price yourself. Allow God to cleanse you of sin and restore you.

I pray today that you will repent of all sin; that you will turn from all sin towards God; that you will live your life for God; and that you know the forgiveness Jesus offers you.